Blonde Jokes\n(No rude ones\nStupid Men jokes also avaliable!)
Did you hear about the blonde that\nwent to hospital with concussion\nand severe head wounds?\n\nShe tried to commit suicide by hanging\nherself with a bungee cord. 
Did you hear about the\nblonde coyotee?\n\nIt got stuck in a trap\nand chewed off three\nlegs trying to escape. 
Did you hear about the\nblonde who stood in front\nof the mirror with her\neyes closed?\n\nShe wanted to see what\nshe looked like asleep.
Did you hear about the blonde\nwhose boyfriend said he loved\nher?\n\nShe believed him. 
How can you tell if a\nblonde's been using the\ncomputer?\n\nThere's white-out\non the screen. 
How did the blonde break\nher leg raking leaves?\n\nShe fell out of the tree. 
How did the blonde burn\nher nose?\n\nShe went bobbing for\nFrench fries. 
How did the blonde die\ndrinking milk?\n\nThe cow fell on her. 
How do blonde brain\ncells die?\n\nQuietly and alone. 
What do you call an\nant in a blonde's head?\n\nA space invader.
How do you confuse a blonde?\n\nYou don't.\nThey're born that way. 
How do you get a blonde\nto marry you?\n\nTell her she's pregnant\nand that its her's.
How do you get a one-armed\nblonde out of a tree?\n\nWave to her. 
How do you make a\nblonde's eyes sparkle?\n\nShine a flashlight\nin her ear. 
How do you measure a\nblonde's intelligence?\n\nStick a tire pressure\ngauge in her ear.
How do you plant dope?\n\nBury a blonde. 
How do you drown\na blonde?\n\nPut a mirror at the\nbottom of the pool. 
How does a blonde\ncommit suicide?\n\nShe gathers her clothes\ninto a pile and jumps off. 
If you drop a blonde and\na brunette from 100 feet,\nwhich hits the ground first?\n\nThe brunette, because the\nblonde has to ask for directions\non the way down. 
Why was the blonde\nclutching at thin air?\n\nShe was attempting to\ncollect her thoughts. 
What do you call a blonde\nin a black leather jacket?\n\nRebel without a clue! 
What do you call a blonde\nskeleton in the closet?\n\nLast year's hide\nand seek champion. 
What do you call a blonde\nwith 2 brain cells?\n\nPregnant. 
What do you do when a\nblonde throws a pin at you?\n\nRun for it... she's\ngot a hand grenade\nin her mouth. 
What do you give the\nblonde who has everything?\n\nPenicillin. 
What is the difference\nbetween a dead blonde\nin the road, and a dead\nskunk in the road?\n\nThere are skid marks\nin front of the skunk. 
What the only blonde\njob in an M&&M factory?\n\nProofreading.
What's brown and red\nand black and blue?\n\nA brunette who's told one\ntoo many blonde jokes. 
What's the difference between\na blonde and a computer?\n\nYou only have to punch\ninformation into a\ncomputer once. 
What's the difference between\na blonde and a shopping cart?\n\nMost shopping carts have\nmind's of their own. 
Why are there so few\nblonde pharmacists?\n\nThey have a hard time\ngetting the pill bottles\ninto the typewriter! 
Why do blondes drive\ncars with sunroofs?\n\nMore leg room.
Why do blondes have little\nholes all over their faces?\n\nFrom eating with forks. 
Why do blondes\nhave more fun?\n\nBecause they are easier\nto keep amused. 
Why do blondes have\nsee-through lunch box lids?\n\nSo they know if it\nis morning or afternoon. 
Why does it take longer\nto build a blonde\nsnowman than a normal one?\n\nYou have to hollow\nout the head.
Why was the blonde\nfired from the M&&M factory?\n\nFor throwing all\nthe W's away.  
Hey! I've just realised...\nI'm a blonde!